Sophie Bennett on Moving to America for Love

When Sophie Bennett met Daniel at a wedding in Barcelona, neither of them expected the relationship to continue beyond the holiday.

Sophie was living in Manchester and working as a primary school teacher. Daniel was based in Raleigh and had recently started a small construction business. Their first year together involved carefully scheduled calls, brief visits, and a growing awareness that one of them would eventually have to move.

Sophie had always been curious about America. She had visited New York and Florida as a tourist, but she knew very little about everyday life in North Carolina.

“I thought I understood America because I watched American television,” she says. “I quickly learned that visiting and living here are completely different experiences.”

“The honest answer is that Daniel’s business made it harder for him to leave. I could teach in another country, but his work was tied to North Carolina.

“At first, I treated the decision like a practical calculation. I thought: I speak the language, I can work, and I already know the person I’m moving for. How difficult can it be?

“What I underestimated was how much of my identity was connected to familiar places, routines, humor, and the people who had known me for years.”

“They were exciting and isolating at the same time.

“Everything felt new. The supermarkets were enormous, people spoke to me everywhere, and strangers commented on my accent. I enjoyed the friendliness, but I also felt as though I was constantly explaining myself.

“The hardest part was that Daniel continued with his normal life. He went to work, saw friends, and knew how everything operated. I had left my job, my family, and my social circle. For him, our relationship had moved forward. For me, my entire life had been replaced.”

Sophie says the difference initially created tension between them.

“I expected him to understand what I was feeling without me explaining it. He thought I was unhappy with him or with America. Really, I was grieving the life I had left.”

When we sat down for this interview, Sophie was sitting down with her tea at her table on the “porch”, which she admitted is a tough word to learn and understand when talking to a North Carolina native. She comments how warm and sunny it is today, and tells me that is hard getting used to “proper” sunshine, even in the Winter.

She sips her tea and looks out the window often.

During her first six months in Raleigh, Sophie relied heavily on Daniel. She did not yet have a job, and she was uncomfortable driving on unfamiliar roads.

Her days revolved around his schedule.

“When you move for a partner, that person can temporarily become your relationship, social life, transportation, and connection to the country,” she says. “That is too much pressure for both people.”

Sophie began volunteering at a local literacy organization and later found work as an assistant teacher. Those changes gave her independence and introduced her to people outside Daniel’s existing network.

“Getting my own job was important financially, but even more important psychologically. I needed parts of my American life that belonged to me.”

“The scale of everything surprised me. The distances, the roads, the houses, the portion sizes—even the choices in a pharmacy.

“I was also surprised by how regional America is. North Carolina did not feel like the America I had seen in films. It had its own food, expressions, traditions, and pace of life.

“I struggled with healthcare at first because I did not understand insurance language. I also missed walking everywhere. In Manchester, I could leave my house and naturally encounter people. Here, many social interactions had to be planned.”

“Eventually, yes—but not immediately.

“The move exposed assumptions we had never discussed. We had different ideas about money, family visits, holidays, work, and where we might live long term.

“We had to stop treating the move as the end of the problem. It was actually the beginning of a new set of decisions.”

The couple now schedules one extended visit to the United Kingdom each year. Daniel has also become more involved with Sophie’s family and understands that homesickness does not mean she regrets their marriage.

“We learned that I can miss England and still choose America. Those two things are not contradictory.”

“Yes, but I would prepare differently.

“I would save more money, research employment earlier, and create a plan for building my own community. I would also be more honest with Daniel about how vulnerable the move made me feel.

“I moved because of our relationship, but I stayed because I eventually created a life here that was larger than the relationship.”

Sophie and Daniel now live in a small house outside Raleigh with their rescue dog, Archie. Sophie works at an elementary school and has developed friendships through work, volunteering, and a local walking group.

She still misses British winters, Sunday lunches with her family, and the ease of seeing old friends without planning months ahead.

But America no longer feels like Daniel’s country. It also feels like part of her own life.

“I do not feel completely British when I visit England anymore, and I will probably never feel completely American,” she says. “I used to see that as a loss. Now I see it as evidence that my life has expanded.”

▶ Favorite American city: Charleston, SC

▶ Podcast on repeat: Joe Rogan Experience

▶ Current read: None - Just started a Netflix series… Beef.

▶ Must-have gear for America: My Kettle. I had to buy one here!

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